Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
