Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
