Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
