I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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