Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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