my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
