she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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