Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize
