definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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