The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
