you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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