have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
