why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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