Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Randomize
