He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
