Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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