What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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