Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
and she was petting her beer can
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
