yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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