So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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