yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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