somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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