Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
