does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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