I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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