Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
