I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I want to fling myself into the sun
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
