watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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