There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
