I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
