Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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