What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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