Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
