It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
