remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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