I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
