and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Michael Bay diarrhea
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
