i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
