i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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