I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I love you. Go after that dick
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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