in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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