Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
My liver just broke up with me...
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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