She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
