This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
