I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I think I am morally bankrupt
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
