Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The power of my boobs compel you
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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