I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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