I am puke
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
