All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
