No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
